Friday, February 13, 2015

So You're Freaking Out About Valentine's Day...

Hey guys!! It's almost Valentine's Day, and we know what you're thinking. That this is the absolutely worst holiday! It's all manufactured to get really great guys like you to spend money. And what about the fact that you love your girl 365x7x24? We know you do!
But here's the deal, your girl wants a romantic Valentine's Day. Not to show it off to all of her friends and plaster it on social media (although she probably will, and who are you kidding, you love that kind of public admiration!) but because us girls want to be shown that chivalry and romance isn't dead. In our hearts we believe it. And you do great stuff for us every stinking day, like fuel up our cars and change light bulbs and you even help with housework. Man! Do we love you for all those thing? YES! We sure do!

Valentine's Day is different. It's a day for romance. It's like one day set aside to show your girl that romance is alive and well. So, just like we did for Christmas, Rach + Retha are gonna help you. We are going to help turn this "stupid, materialistic manufactured holiday" into something sweet.
Valentine's gifts aren't like Christmas gifts, where you buy something for her than she really wants but would never buy for herself. Valentine's is about love and romance and chivalry.

Giving her a "night off" from her role as caretaker is not a gift. Us girls, we we need a night to reconnect with you. To feel cherished.
Bring home flowers. This doesn't have to be high dollar roses unless she loves those. What is her favorite flower? Is it an orchid, tulip, daisy? Get that! Know her favorites and buy her that.

Take care of the details. Make the reservation, get the sitter, tell her if she should dress up or down. Don't make her plan it all! You already know she feels like she always has to make the plans and do all the things. For the love, men! For the love! No. Really. For the love.
Go back to your first Valentine’s Day as a couple. (Or 2nd, if you were in that awkward just-starting-to-date-omg-what-am-i-gonna-do-for-valentines phase). What did you do together? (*giggle*) What did you get her? Were there flowers? Letters of admiration? Did words of love more beautiful than Ryan Gosling spill out of your mouth?
Do that.
Y’all. Stop with the excuses. “It’s a made up holiday” (there is actual real history behind it), ‘We don’t have the money” (it doesn’t have to be expensive), or “we don’t have the time” (re-evaluate your priorities.)
Short on cash? Buy (or better yet MAKE) a card. Write down how much you love that beautiful woman that walks beside you every day. Pick up the $5 bouquet of flowers from Walmart and stick them in a dinner glass. Buy her favorite candy bar. Don’t get caught up in the dollars. That’s not what matters.

Now. Ladies. Just a short little bit for you. This is a two-way street. Appreciate what your man does for you. Don’t ever say “it isn’t enough.” Don’t ever act like it isn’t enough. His efforts should be praised. This man puts up with you and all the blogs about valentine’s day you forward to him.
Remember: it ain’t about the money. It’s about the thought and the connection between you and your loved one. Don’t be a Debbie Downer. Be awesome. Now go and have the best Valentine’s Day ever. You can thank us by sending discounted Valentine’s Day chocolate.

Xoxo Rach + Retha

Monday, December 22, 2014

If you think your wife wants any of those gifts those other articles are telling you she does, you are so wrong.

(This post is brought to you by a wife with zero kids and a wife with 4 kids who are both irritated at all of the stupid articles filled with Christmas gift ideas that are great if you have two year old, but are pretty terrible for the bazillion wives out there who don't.)

This is a list of all the superficial things your wife may not say she wants, but really does, but doesn't want judgey eyes telling her she's shallow. She's not shallow by the way. She's a chick. A smoking hot chick that you get to crawl in bed with every night. So first say thank you then buy her something from this list.

-A Coach purse
-A Michael Kors purse
-A Kate Spade purse

I'm a wife, but I don't have kids. So no, I do not want an uninterrupted hot bath for Christmas. I can have that every night. But let's be honest, I don't really have time for that anyway. (Because as hard as it is to believe, yeah, people without kids are busy people, too.) If Brett said "Here sweetie, have an uninterrupted hot bath. MERRY CHRISTMAS," I would take the credit card out of his wallet, shoot him a look of death, and then go to the mall.

But anyway, back to the list:

-Shoes. Like, expensive ones. Not the knock off Keds from Target.

-A ridiculously big and sparkly piece of jewelry that is not from a diamond outlet.

-Multiple bottles of wine

-A shopping spree. (cash is a totally acceptable gift.)

While romantic gestures and compliments are really nice, don't wrap them up for Christmas. Dole them out all the time. If I don't get a compliment, or a sweet note, or some kind of something that resembles a romantic gesture ALL YEAR and then for Christmas I get a "hey you look hot, here's your favorite candy bar!" chances are I am not going to receive that well. And I'll probably throw some cuss words at you. 

I'm a wife who has 4 kids. 2 are adults, 1 teenager and 1 tween (going on 20). I also have a full time biz gig and am a full time student. Like Rachel, I don't have time for a long, uninterrupted bath and if I did, I would just take it. But then I would probably fall asleep and drown because I'm exhausted. The point is, a bath is not a gift for Christmas. Come on guys, you can do better. We believe in you!!!

Back to the list...

-Anything or everything on Rachel's list. 

- A long weekend at the beach. Don't ask me "what about the kids?" Take care of that. Take care of all of it-hotel, airfare, etc. And plan it for the week after finals.  

- Christian Louboutin heels. Black. 

- a bigger diamond. Either the wedding ring or earrings...or both. 

These are Christmas gifts. Sex is not a Christmas gift to your wife. It is a gift you give each other throughout the year. If that's presented as a Christmas gift, like Rachel, I'm gonna remind him that he's the lucky one, throw some cuss words his way and go purchase my own gift. 

Also, can we address this stereotype that men don't take care of their kids after work? Helping with the kids is not a gift to your wife and I don't know many men who think it is. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. These things are not gifts. These are responsibilities you agreed to do together. As a couple. Don't offer them as a Christmas gift. You will deserve a punch in the junk

Here's the deal, a Christmas gift is something your wife probably won't buy for herself. It should be really nice and should probably be expensive. Unapologetically expensive.
It should not be practical nor should it be something you better be giving her regularly. Like compliments and date nights and telling her how hot and awesome she is and how proud you are of her for being so awesome.

Look, we aren't total bitches. We both love the mess out of our husbands. We both are very appreciative of our lives and what we do and where we are. and while this may seem like a totally superficial article...well, it kind of is. But the point is to correct all the bull crap articles out there telling you that all your wife wants for Christmas is a hot bath and a compliment. Now go grab that Tiffany-blue box and be prepared for an extremely sexy thank-you from your very appreciative and super hot wife

You're welcome.

Laretha + Rachel

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Weddingpalooza Wednesday!

I could spend the next [insert amount of months we will be engaged here] blogging about NOTHING but wedding stuff.

But I'm not going to.

1. Pretty sure I would lose most of my male reader-ship
2. I need to not think about wedding stuff constantly. For all of the health reasons.

So i am going to dedicate ONE day a week for wedding blogging!

Weddingpalooza Wednesday!



Today's topic is the feeling of terror that comes along with agreeing to marry someone. (Didn't see that coming did you?)

I am overwhelmingly excited to marry Brett. Every time I say "Rachel Mayo" my heart flutters and sparkles shoot out of my ears!

So. The terrifying part.

I had this feeling when Brett and I started dating. I thought "Oh crap! I'm a girlfriend now! Can I be everything he needs in a girlfriend? Will I screw up? Will I be good enough? Is there a crazy side of him I don't know about?"

But then I thought "Stop the silliness, you just started dating! You just have to be good enough for however long he decides to put up with you!"

But then he decided he wanted to put up with me forever.

So those same thoughts are intensified by about a bazillion percent. 

I'm not a girlfriend anymore. I'm a fiancee now. And I'm going to be a wife. I'm going to be HIS wife. FOREVER.

Am I good enough?
Am I strong enough?
Will I be able to meet all of his needs?
Will I disappoint him?

Those thoughts and feelings scare the living daylights out of me.

So, what do I do with them?


Because I look back on the 20 months we spent dating and see how great we are together. How wonderfully we communicate. How much fun we have. How much love there is between us.

And then the feelings of excitement, happiness, and confidence come flooding back in, and totally wipe out the feelings that tell me I'm not good enough.

I am SO good enough. I'm going to rock this wife thing HARD! 


Tuesday, July 23, 2013

How Do You Clear Your Mind?

My thoughts are extremely scattered tonight. I think the only time I was able to turn off my brain was during Yoga in the Park (with my Start Experiment partner!)

It's too bad I can't do yoga all day and night!

Here is a snippet of my brain today:
  • Wedding dress
  • Why is everyone complaining about the royal baby?
  • Why aren't you working, you stupid piece of internet crap?
  • Must do my Start Experiment task!
  • Why don't people refill the printer with paper after they've used it all up?
  • Wedding venue
  • Please stay in your own cubicle
  • Oh hey there, self-doubting thoughts, thanks for eating my brain today!

Does anyone else ever feel like their brain is a TV station that airs nothing but 30 second commercials? What do you do to make it stop?

I have a calendar. I have a notebook. I write things down, I make lists....sometimes they just don't help clear my head.

Aside from a shot of whiskey, what things do you all do to make your brain shut up?

Monday, July 22, 2013

10 Rules for Being Engaged

In the 30-some-odd hours I've been engaged, the number of thoughts that have gone through my head have been astonishing. Who knew there was so much to think about? Even having planned weddings before, it is different when it is happening to you.

I thought about how easily one can get overwhelmed, and how it will take a conscious effort to step back sometimes, and breathe, and focus on the reason for the marriage, and not the dress, the ceremony, or the drunk uncle who might show up at the reception.

So I sat down and made a list of things to remember during this beautiful process. Because that's what it should be: Beautiful. And fun. And sparkly. (Lots of sparkly.)

Feel free to steal this list if you are engaged, irritated, overwhelmed, and tired.

  • 1. Don't put the wedding above your husband-to-be.
  • 2. This is you and your fiance's wedding. Not anyone else's.
  • 3. Just smile and nod with unsolicited advice. And maybe mentally prepare dinner while you listen to the ramblings.
  • 4. Don't mentally plan dinner if someone who has been married for 40 years is giving you advice.
  • 5. Have non-wedding conversations.
  • 6. Include your Mister in the decisions. Don't assume he doesn't care.
  • 7. Take the planning one thing at a time.(I have written down 1-2 things to plan/do each weekend. At least one weekend a month I take "off.")
  • 8. Your bridesmaids are there to HELP you. USE them.
  • 9. Sometimes, the $50 thing you were going to DIY is just worth the 50 bucks. Put the glue gun away. Go to sleep.
  • 10. Thank God for that sweet man you get to spend the rest of your life with.

Like I said, I've only been engaged for 30 hours. I am not stressed by any stretch of the imagination, but when I can feel my eye start to twitch, and a headache coming on, thinking about this list will help keep me in check.

For those of you who have been through this process, what advice do you have?

Sunday, July 21, 2013


There were about 29384856 different kinds of love floating around this weekend.

On Saturday, Brett and I went to Ellijay, GA to celebrate the life of his Uncle Darrell who passed away last month.

Darrell was a popular man. The amount of family and friends in that room was unbelievable. There were some really beautiful, sweet, and hilarious stories shared. Pictures were passed around. Brett sang the last line of a song the Darrell loved.

There were hugs, tears, and lots of laughs that filled that room. 

He was a man who was deeply loved by many.

Today, Sunday, my best friend and her husband celebrated their one year wedding anniversary. 

This is a particularly special anniversary, because in that year, they brought into the world little miss Lily Kate. And to say that we all love Lily Kate would be a tremendous understatement.

And today, the man that I love, with every fiber of my being, asked me to be his wife.

For those of you who don't know, Brett and I have been dating just shy of 20 months (yes I keep count!)

My best friend and her husband who are celebrating their one year anniversary today? We met at their engagement party. 

Exactly six months later we went on our first date.

I am not sure what I did to deserve the kind of love we share, but I'm not asking questions. I am taking it and running with it!!

Becoming Mrs. Mayo is going to be quite the adventure! Words just can't portray how excited I am!!

Even more exciting is the thought of the rest of our lives together. I cannot wait to create a life with Brett.

It's amazing I've stopped staring at my ring long enough to even type this. But I'm getting kind of antsy, so I'll leave you with a couple of pictures :)

He proposed after we toured Ruby Falls. We were on top of Lookout Mountain, observing the storm that was forming across the river. We both love storms, and while everyone else was starting to take cover, we were soaking it in. It was there, on the observation deck, in the pouring rain, where he asked me to marry him.

The ring we decided to use is my grandmother's that my paw-paw had picked out for her 60 years ago. My grandfather is someone who I absolutely adored. He died when I was six. I don't remember a whole lot of him, but I vividly remember the feelings of happiness I had when I was around him. I am beyond excited to be able to carry a part of him with me. I know he'd be so proud and excited right now!

Saturday, July 20, 2013

A Day of Doodles

Hey everyone! This weekend, I'm in Chattanooga, TN with my sweetheart of a boyfriend. So today's post is going to be a bit....fluffy. I apologize. BUT I think you'll enjoy my doodle pictures! 

How did I acquire these skills? Well..when you're president of your high school's Pep have to make A LOT of signs! :)

These first 2 pictures, all my #StartExp friends have seen. For everyone else, this first picture is of my journal we are supposed to keep during the Experiment. I decided to take a legal pad, and just make it my own. It's fun AND cost effective!

This next picture is one of my journal entries. We were asked to write down our biggest fear. Well. I made mine pretty. Because pretty fears are just not intimidating.

The next photo, I drew while I was on the phone with darling Brett. See, even though I'm 27, and he's 32, I still have unmistakable feelings of high school love. You know what I mean? Just pure giddiness. So, I channeled my inner high school-er, and came up with this!

The next 2 are chalkboard signs I made for my sister's wedding! (If you want to read a short and sweet post about her wedding, click here!)

Finally, these last few pictures are some shoes I decorated for my sister last year for her birthday. It was a special birthday, because she was getting ready to move to Oklahoma, she was about to audition for American idol, and not known to her, she was about to be engaged.

Thanks for stopping by and checking out my doodles! :D