Weddingpalooza Wednesday!

I could spend the next [insert amount of months we will be engaged here] blogging about NOTHING but wedding stuff.

But I'm not going to.

1. Pretty sure I would lose most of my male reader-ship
2. I need to not think about wedding stuff constantly. For all of the health reasons.

So i am going to dedicate ONE day a week for wedding blogging!

Weddingpalooza Wednesday!

 

 

Today's topic is the feeling of terror that comes along with agreeing to marry someone. (Didn't see that coming did you?)

I am overwhelmingly excited to marry Brett. Every time I say "Rachel Mayo" my heart flutters and sparkles shoot out of my ears!

So. The terrifying part.

I had this feeling when Brett and I started dating. I thought "Oh crap! I'm a girlfriend now! Can I be everything he needs in a girlfriend? Will I screw up? Will I be good enough? Is there a crazy side of him I don't know about?"

But then I thought "Stop the silliness, you just started dating! You just have to be good enough for however long he decides to put up with you!"

But then he decided he wanted to put up with me forever.

So those same thoughts are intensified by about a bazillion percent. 

I'm not a girlfriend anymore. I'm a fiancee now. And I'm going to be a wife. I'm going to be HIS wife. FOREVER.

Am I good enough?
Am I strong enough?
Will I be able to meet all of his needs?
Will I disappoint him?

Those thoughts and feelings scare the living daylights out of me.

So, what do I do with them?

I punch them STRAIGHT IN THE FACE.

Because I look back on the 20 months we spent dating and see how great we are together. How wonderfully we communicate. How much fun we have. How much love there is between us.

And then the feelings of excitement, happiness, and confidence come flooding back in, and totally wipe out the feelings that tell me I'm not good enough.

I am SO good enough. I'm going to rock this wife thing HARD! 

LET THE WEDDING CELEBRATION COMMENCE!

How Do You Clear Your Mind?

My thoughts are extremely scattered tonight. I think the only time I was able to turn off my brain was during Yoga in the Park (with my Start Experiment partner!)

It's too bad I can't do yoga all day and night!

Here is a snippet of my brain today:

• Wedding dress
• Why is everyone complaining about the royal baby?
• Why aren't you working, you stupid piece of internet crap?
• Must do my Start Experiment task!
• TEXT MESSAGE
• Why don't people refill the printer with paper after they've used it all up?
• Wedding venue
• PHONE CALL
• Please stay in your own cubicle
• Oh hey there, self-doubting thoughts, thanks for eating my brain today!

Does anyone else ever feel like their brain is a TV station that airs nothing but 30 second commercials? What do you do to make it stop?

I have a calendar. I have a notebook. I write things down, I make lists....sometimes they just don't help clear my head.

Aside from a shot of whiskey, what things do you all do to make your brain shut up?

10 Rules for Being Engaged

In the 30-some-odd hours I've been engaged, the number of thoughts that have gone through my head have been astonishing. Who knew there was so much to think about? Even having planned weddings before, it is different when it is happening to you.

I thought about how easily one can get overwhelmed, and how it will take a conscious effort to step back sometimes, and breathe, and focus on the reason for the marriage, and not the dress, the ceremony, or the drunk uncle who might show up at the reception.

So I sat down and made a list of things to remember during this beautiful process. Because that's what it should be: Beautiful. And fun. And sparkly. (Lots of sparkly.)

Feel free to steal this list if you are engaged, irritated, overwhelmed, and tired.

• 1. Don't put the wedding above your husband-to-be.
• 2. This is you and your fiance's wedding. Not anyone else's.
• 3. Just smile and nod with unsolicited advice. And maybe mentally prepare dinner while you listen to the ramblings.
• 4. Don't mentally plan dinner if someone who has been married for 40 years is giving you advice.
• 5. Have non-wedding conversations.
• 6. Include your Mister in the decisions. Don't assume he doesn't care.
• 7. Take the planning one thing at a time.(I have written down 1-2 things to plan/do each weekend. At least one weekend a month I take "off.")
• 8. Your bridesmaids are there to HELP you. USE them.
• 9. Sometimes, the $50 thing you were going to DIY is just worth the 50 bucks. Put the glue gun away. Go to sleep.
• 10. Thank God for that sweet man you get to spend the rest of your life with.

Like I said, I've only been engaged for 30 hours. I am not stressed by any stretch of the imagination, but when I can feel my eye start to twitch, and a headache coming on, thinking about this list will help keep me in check.

For those of you who have been through this process, what advice do you have?

ALL OF THE LOVE!

There were about 29384856 different kinds of love floating around this weekend.

On Saturday, Brett and I went to Ellijay, GA to celebrate the life of his Uncle Darrell who passed away last month.

Darrell was a popular man. The amount of family and friends in that room was unbelievable. There were some really beautiful, sweet, and hilarious stories shared. Pictures were passed around. Brett sang the last line of a song the Darrell loved.

There were hugs, tears, and lots of laughs that filled that room. 

He was a man who was deeply loved by many.



Today, Sunday, my best friend and her husband celebrated their one year wedding anniversary. 

This is a particularly special anniversary, because in that year, they brought into the world little miss Lily Kate. And to say that we all love Lily Kate would be a tremendous understatement.



And today, the man that I love, with every fiber of my being, asked me to be his wife.

For those of you who don't know, Brett and I have been dating just shy of 20 months (yes I keep count!)

My best friend and her husband who are celebrating their one year anniversary today? We met at their engagement party. 

Exactly six months later we went on our first date.

I am not sure what I did to deserve the kind of love we share, but I'm not asking questions. I am taking it and running with it!!

Becoming Mrs. Mayo is going to be quite the adventure! Words just can't portray how excited I am!!

Even more exciting is the thought of the rest of our lives together. I cannot wait to create a life with Brett.

It's amazing I've stopped staring at my ring long enough to even type this. But I'm getting kind of antsy, so I'll leave you with a couple of pictures :)

He proposed after we toured Ruby Falls. We were on top of Lookout Mountain, observing the storm that was forming across the river. We both love storms, and while everyone else was starting to take cover, we were soaking it in. It was there, on the observation deck, in the pouring rain, where he asked me to marry him.

The ring we decided to use is my grandmother's that my paw-paw had picked out for her 60 years ago. My grandfather is someone who I absolutely adored. He died when I was six. I don't remember a whole lot of him, but I vividly remember the feelings of happiness I had when I was around him. I am beyond excited to be able to carry a part of him with me. I know he'd be so proud and excited right now!

A Day of Doodles

Hey everyone! This weekend, I'm in Chattanooga, TN with my sweetheart of a boyfriend. So today's post is going to be a bit....fluffy. I apologize. BUT I think you'll enjoy my doodle pictures! 

How did I acquire these skills? Well..when you're president of your high school's Pep Club....you have to make A LOT of signs! :)

These first 2 pictures, all my #StartExp friends have seen. For everyone else, this first picture is of my journal we are supposed to keep during the Experiment. I decided to take a legal pad, and just make it my own. It's fun AND cost effective!

This next picture is one of my journal entries. We were asked to write down our biggest fear. Well. I made mine pretty. Because pretty fears are just not intimidating.

The next photo, I drew while I was on the phone with darling Brett. See, even though I'm 27, and he's 32, I still have unmistakable feelings of high school love. You know what I mean? Just pure giddiness. So, I channeled my inner high school-er, and came up with this!

The next 2 are chalkboard signs I made for my sister's wedding! (If you want to read a short and sweet post about her wedding, click here!)

Finally, these last few pictures are some shoes I decorated for my sister last year for her birthday. It was a special birthday, because she was getting ready to move to Oklahoma, she was about to audition for American idol, and not known to her, she was about to be engaged.

Thanks for stopping by and checking out my doodles! :D

What are you?

If you look at my business card, I will be defined as Legal learning Specialist.

If you ask my parents, they will you tell you I'm their independent-almost-to-a-fault, driven, and incredibly intelligent daughter. (Especially the 'incredibly intelligent' part.)

If you ask my sister, she will joke that I'm her know-it-all, asian-looking sister. (seriously, you should see my baby pictures.)

If you ask my boyfriend, he will proudly proclaim that I'm the best girlfriend that ever walked the face of this Earth (or something like that).

If you ask my friends, they will tell you I'm their friend who loves to dance, laugh, and blog. They may also tell you I have an unhealthy obsession with Lady Gaga. (They might be right.)

If you ask my dogs, they will tell you nothing. Because they're dogs.

Sometimes, though, we hear what people say about us, and we feel obligated to live up to that.

My parents consistently told me, and other people how smart I was. (Not in a cocky way, more like "she got all A's again! We're so proud!")

It is true, I did well in school, but I didn't realize how much I felt obligated to get good grades until I made my first C in college.

I was a freshman, taking 18 hours, and when I saw that "C" on my transcript, I cried. I cried and cried and cried, and called my mom, and cried some more.

And you know what she said?

"That's ok! You did good."

Wait, what? 

I put too much pressure on myself to live up to others' expectations...or made-up expectations.

My parents appreciated the fact that I did well in school. I was the one who felt tremendous pressure to always live up to that.

Maybe someone always sees you as the problem solver, or the funny guy, or the relationship expert.

And maybe you can solve the world's problems, make a room full of financial analysts belly-laugh, or get Sheila to finally dump Douglas because, come on, what bouche-dag!

Remember to ask yourself why you do the things you do. Is it because you want to? Is it because you love it? Is it because deep down, you know that's who you are?

Or is it because everyone else thinks that what you are, so you feel that is you have to be?

Don't be afraid to make your own path. It might be easier, if someone else has already cleared out a trail for you, but you're the one walking it. (or biking it, or running it, or driving it...whichever way you prefer to move.)

So what are you?

OMG SUMMER JAMZ

I don't know about y'all, but the summer time is the only time when I say "OMG I NEED A SUMMER PLAYLIST!"...I never have a Winter, Fall, or Spring playlist...just summer.

Usually they are new songs, but it isn't rare for me to have re-discovered an old, wonderful song, that is so perfectly suited for car-karaoke.

Here are some of the songs I cannot. Stop. Listening to. I'm always looking for other awesome songs. Leave me your suggestions, so I can listen! You can also find me on Spotify, and we can music share there. :)

Lorde--Royals

Robin Thicke--Blurred Lines (stupid...stupid video...catchy...catchy song.)

Kings of Leon--Back Down South

Jake Bugg-Lightning Bolt (isn't he just adorable??)

ZZ Ward--365 Days

Gin Wigmore--Black Sheep

Muse--Madness

I Do Not Want to Write

I did not want to write today.

I did not want to write tonight.

I am just having one of "those" days.

Around 11 am, my blood sugar dropped. For those of you who don't know, I have type 1 diabetes. So, a low blood sugar is kind of a big deal.

It's a big deal, but nothing I'm not used to. So, I treated it, and went on about my day. 

It dropped again.

And again.

My blood sugar was low/borderline low for a good 5 hours.

You know how you feel when you haven't eaten in hours? Shaky, cranky, tired, annoyed...? Yeah. That's how I felt. For 5 hours. (Not to mention, the perpetual frustration with my eye sends irritability into overdrive.)

Needless to say when I made it home from work, I took a nap.

Instead of getting clothes together for an upcoming trip, instead of blogging, instead of taking a shower, instead of doing anything productive...

I took a nap... for 3 hours.

So I woke up at 8 pm. And do you know why I woke up?

Because my blood sugar was low.

I did not want to eat dinner, but I had to.

I did not want to take a shower, but I had to. (You're welcome, co-workers.)

I did not want to write, but I committed to.

And you know what? I feel better.

We all have those days right? We are just done. Over it. We want to throw in the towel. we want to call it quits before the sun even goes down. We just want to try again tomorrow. 

But how does that help you today? Where does that get you?

Answers: It doesn't, and nowhere.

Do not let your day own you. You should own your day! You can't control situations around you, but you can control how you react. You can either give in and give up, or you can throw some punches, and take control. 

When you take control, even if things don't go as well as you planned, you still win.

Just by following through, you still win.

Just by putting forth a little extra effort, you still win.

Winning isn't about the end result (no matter what your loud-mouth, oompa loompa shaped track coach told you in high school.) Winning is about doing.

So go.

Do.

Win. 

 

Appreciating the Small Victories

I'm a big picture kind of girl.

As Jon Acuff explains in his book, Start, there are "how" people and there are "wow" people. "Wow" people think of big, grand ideas, and "how" people are the ones who can build the steps to get there.

I'm a wow-er.

I can dream up some mega-plans! (ok, re-read the word "mega-plans" in a deep, echoing voice, and maybe picture the hulk ripping his shirt off or something.)

But when it comes to figuring out the steps to get there, I get frustrated. (Reason number 1923834745785 why I love Brett. He is a "how" person and can logistics his way out of a paper bag!.....i know. That is super grammatically incorrect.)

Sometimes on my journeys to greatness, I get frustrated that ALL OF THE AMAZING THINGS aren't happening RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.

That is a problem.

When we focus too much on the end goal, we forget to appreciate our small victories. 

We also forget that those small victories help us to get to that sweat-dripping, fear-crushing, tear-running, photo finish.

Today, my blood glucose levels were good. After a terrible endocrinologist appointment last month, you'd think I would really enjoy that! But I was so focused on work, and the Start Experiment, and my several meetings I have coming up, that it took me until 3:30 pm to stop and say "Yes!! YES YES YES!"

That is a total of 8 and a half hours of not appreciating a great thing.

The sad thing is, I've gone longer, much longer, without appreciating great things, because at the time, I thought of them as insignificant. Because those victories weren't the fireworks I had been so focused on.

Stop and think about all of the terrific things that happened today. No matter how itty-bitty. Appreciating the small wins in life makes the ginormous triumphs even sweeter!

What have you overlooked today? 

All of the Eye Trauma Drama!

Since my last posts about my tragic eye injury, I've gained new readers. (Say it with me.."welcome new readers!")

So for those of you who have no idea what's going on, you can read part 1 here.
You can read why I wanted to punch a wall here.
And you can feel super bad for me by reading here.

And now, the saga continues...

Two weeks ago I went to see a corneal specialist. In what I thought would be a last ditch effort before surgery, he decided to switch up my eye drops and ointments. 

It didn't work.

I had an appointment today, in which I was anticipating scheduling surgery because let's face it, it's been three months, I've tried everything, and I've still not healed.

NOPE.

Noe nope nope nope.

He decides to put a contact lens bandage on. (Tried it...twice. Didn't work. Did he even read the notes from my eye doctor?)

I get it. We are trying to avoid surgery. Because surgery sucks. They basically have to give me another corneal abrasion to allow my eye to heal. And it is pretty much the most painful thing I've ever endured. Ever.

HOWEVER.

It HAS been three months. 

I want to be able to wake up in the morning and not physically hold one eye down while I wait for the "juices" to get going. I don't want to spend 1984875683 minutes a day putting in eye drops. I don't want to move my eyes like a crazy person every 5 minutes just to avoid pain.

I know that surgery is the only thing that will heal me. in a decent amount of time. (Let's be real. A "decent amount of time" has passed. It has passed HARD.)

So we'll see how it goes in two weeks. If he tries to stall anymore, I'm gonna straight up rip out my eye ball right in front of him. Then he HAS to do something. Right? Right.

I'm Going on a 24 Day Adventure

A couple of weeks ago, Jon Acuff posted a blog that said something like this:

24 people. 24 days. Guaranteed risk. Dragons. Wizards. Machetes. This message will self destruct in 24 hours. Sign up now.

Ok. I made some of that up. (interestingly enough, not the machete part.) But the point is the same.

So I signed up.

Here's what is going to happen:

I'm going to be on a "team" with 23 other dream chasers from the Nashville area. I'll have an accountability buddy. Each day we will send each other an idea, words of encouragement, or something else to help them with their dream.

I got to choose my own goal for the 24 days. Mine is to blog EVERY day of those 24 days.

We will get an email from Jon each day with a "new challenge, point of encouragement or other such awesomeness"

I am excited! I don't know where this is going to take me, but I do know I'll at least be closer to my goal. *excited squeal*

HELLOOOOOOO Late Twenties!

Well, folks...it's official. 

I have turned 27. I'm in my late-twenties. 

I know how ridiculous this post is going to sound to some of you, but just bear with me here.

My mid-twenties were the best and worst years of my life. It was filled with confusion, sadness, and anger. But it was also filled with love, fulfilling relationships, hope, and a brand new start.

I was just stupid and completely clueless in my early twenties.

So what will I write when I turn 30? How will I describe my late-twenties? I can't predict the future, but I think it will go something like this:

My mid-twenties were the best years of my life. It's when love grew into something I didn't know was even possible. It's when I switched my life from average to awesome. It's when I stopped dreading Sunday nights and started looking forward to "work." It's when Brett bought me a VW Bug in every color! 

Ok, I got a little carried away on the last part. It's unrealistic. His driveway is not that big.

But the rest of it? I can do that. 

We often think that we can't control what happens in our lives because we can't control the situations that arise around us. And that is true-- to an extent.

What we CAN control is how we react to those situations. We can control our attitude. And sometimes, my friends, that makes ALL the difference.

I know what I want to achieve in the next few years. And I know that as long as I keep a positive attitude and surround myself with support and encouragement, I can achieve whatever I want.

Here's to 27! May it be the start of the very best years of my life.

Go ahead and brag

Sometimes, we all need to proudly proclaim what we're good at. We are scared to, because, then we just sound like we are bragging, which has a negative connotation. But you know what? We NEED to brag. We need to OWN what we're good at! So...go ahead and brag! What are you amazing at??

Last Chance!

One month ago, I attended my first 5 Club meeting with Jon Acuff. 

He's motivational, inspirational, REAL, and downright hilarious.

Since that meeting (and since I've read his books) I've decided to stop hiding from my dream and start going for it.

And you know what happened?

Progress happened.

All of the sudden, other bloggers are retweeting me. People are sharing my blog posts. I MORE than doubled my blog views from the first 6 months of the year in only 25 days.

And all it took was a little push from this local author and speaker.

If you are ready to punch fear in the face, and learn how to get on the fast track to awesome, get up super early with me tomorrow!

Register here. It's from 5 am to 7 am. It's free. It's early. It's worth it.

Why I'm A Christian

Ok, this post is not actually a thorough explanation of why I am a Christian. But, it's a story, that might help you understand.

I've had kind of a no good very bad day. I kind of had that day yesterday. And had a couple of those days last week. And heck, for the past 2 months, I've had some serious down days.

Let's go back to last week. I call my insulin pump supplier to order more supplies and to switch over my insurance. (because supposedly, I "only" had to wait 5 months for them to start paying for my diabetes supplies.)

To make a long story short after speaking with a bazillion different people, and after a lot of frustration, and a few tears, it turns out that they are not going to pay until January 1, 2014.

My blood sugar levels are MUCH better controlled while on the insulin pump. But because my supplies are SO expensive off of insurance, I wouldn't be able to afford it. (No one would.) And I'd have to go back on shots.

Going back on shots means taking shots 6 times per day. That means interrupting my daily life 6 times every day to go to the bathroom, draw up insulin, and inject myself. I'm a busy person. Sometimes I miss a shot. Or sometimes I'll skip a meal so I don't have to take a shot. Or sometimes I'll just downright not take it "because I don't wanna."

None of those are healthy. I knew it would take a LOT of work to try and control my diabetes while on shots.

So I call my doctor's office this morning, to explain the situation and confirm my off-pump regimen. She says she will confirm with my doctor and then call me back.

She called me back this afternoon.

Someone JUST donated the EXACT amount of supplies I would need to cover me until my insurance starts paying for my supplies.

If that's not God saying "Hey, I'm looking out for ya, kid."....I don't know what is.

I'm a Christian because my faith gives me hope. Because I believe that I am always taken care of. And I like those feelings.

Sunday Depression

In the last 5 Club meeting with Jon Acuff, he said something to effect of this:

You should work towards a dream that doesn't make you dread Sunday nights.

He is right. I'm trying. What about you?

It seems hard doesn't it? Maybe even impossible? But I don't think it is. Maybe it's my stupidly optimistic nature. But if other people do it, why can't I?

Speaking of The 5 Club, if you're ready to work on that goal, come to the next meeting with me! It's this Friday at 5 am :) Register here.

Trying Not To Be A Facebook Creeper

Do you ever get on Facebook and just mindlessly click around until you end up deep in the Facebook forest, unaware of how you even got there?

Yeah, me too.

Tonight, Facebook land brought me to the page of a little boy I used to babysit.

Except.....he's not little anymore. He's 14. 

I babysat him when he was 2.

I really want to send him a message, and tell him I'm the reason he learned to say "excuse me" after burping (because every Friday night, we had burping contests, and we always said "excuse me" afterwards). 

I want to remind him that even though he was a hellion at bedtime, I was still the only person that could get him to go to sleep in his own room instead of his parents' or brother's bed. 

I want to tell him he is the reason I want to name a future son of mine "Landon."

But I won't. Because that's probably creepy to a 14 year old boy.

I'll just hang on to my sweet memories (he was really just the sweetest little red head ever) and stalk his Facebook page for the next few years to make sure he's not getting into trouble :)

Hahahaha. Just kidding.

But seriously.

Everyone likes flowers. Even if you say you don't.

Maybe I'll ruffle a few girl-feathers....but I have to be honest here.

I don't believe you when you say you don't like it when your boyfriend or husband or whoever buys you flowers. 

Are you REALLY saying you will roll your eyes in disgust when your significant other surprises you with a lovely bouquet? 

Are you really saying that it annoys you that he was thinking about you, and he decided to buy you some romantic roses?

REALLY?!?!

I get it. Not all girls are "girly girls"...but you can't possibly be appalled by flowers. 

I can see rare exceptions. Let's say your family is starving and living in a cardboard box on the side of the road. If your man comes to the box with some flowers from Kroger, I'd be pissed, too. "Hey man, you could have spent that $12.00 on, I don't know...FOOD."

But for the most part, shouldn't you be grateful that he thought about you?

I mean...they're FLOWERS. He's not bringing you something gross. Flowers are pretty, and are a general expression of love.

I also have to note, that I think some girls say that, because their dudes DON'T get them flowers. NOT EVEN FOR VALENTINES DAY! (a travesty!) 

So fellas...maybe you should step up your game a little bit here, and stop making your girl bitter.

So, girls, tell me what you think? Are you a flower lover? A flower hater? Why?

Guys, do you buy your girl flowers? Why or why not?

Answer in the comments below!

When Your Sister Gets Married

When your baby sister gets married...

Even if you've known it would happen for a long time..

Even if you love her husband-to-be...

Even if they've dated for years...

Even if you are super happy for her...

Even if you've already seen her in her wedding dress...

You will still cry like a baby when you see her walk down the aisle with your daddy.

I know this from personal experience.

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Justin Hollis! I love you both, and couldn't be happier to have been part of your big day. :)

Me and my baby sister :)