I did not want to write today.
I did not want to write tonight.
I am just having one of "those" days.
Around 11 am, my blood sugar dropped. For those of you who don't know, I have type 1 diabetes. So, a low blood sugar is kind of a big deal.
It's a big deal, but nothing I'm not used to. So, I treated it, and went on about my day.
It dropped again.
And again.
My blood sugar was low/borderline low for a good 5 hours.
You know how you feel when you haven't eaten in hours? Shaky, cranky, tired, annoyed...? Yeah. That's how I felt. For 5 hours. (Not to mention, the perpetual frustration with my eye sends irritability into overdrive.)
Needless to say when I made it home from work, I took a nap.
Instead of getting clothes together for an upcoming trip, instead of blogging, instead of taking a shower, instead of doing anything productive...
I took a nap... for 3 hours.
So I woke up at 8 pm. And do you know why I woke up?
Because my blood sugar was low.
I did not want to eat dinner, but I had to.
I did not want to take a shower, but I had to. (You're welcome, co-workers.)
I did not want to write, but I committed to.
And you know what? I feel better.
We all have those days right? We are just done. Over it. We want to throw in the towel. we want to call it quits before the sun even goes down. We just want to try again tomorrow.
But how does that help you today? Where does that get you?
Answers: It doesn't, and nowhere.
Do not let your day own you. You should own your day! You can't control situations around you, but you can control how you react. You can either give in and give up, or you can throw some punches, and take control.
When you take control, even if things don't go as well as you planned, you still win.
Just by following through, you still win.
Just by putting forth a little extra effort, you still win.
Winning isn't about the end result (no matter what your loud-mouth, oompa loompa shaped track coach told you in high school.) Winning is about doing.
So go.
Do.
Win.
Ok, this post is not actually a thorough explanation of why I am a Christian. But, it's a story, that might help you understand.
I've had kind of a no good very bad day. I kind of had that day yesterday. And had a couple of those days last week. And heck, for the past 2 months, I've had some serious down days.
Let's go back to last week. I call my insulin pump supplier to order more supplies and to switch over my insurance. (because supposedly, I "only" had to wait 5 months for them to start paying for my diabetes supplies.)
To make a long story short after speaking with a bazillion different people, and after a lot of frustration, and a few tears, it turns out that they are not going to pay until January 1, 2014.
My blood sugar levels are MUCH better controlled while on the insulin pump. But because my supplies are SO expensive off of insurance, I wouldn't be able to afford it. (No one would.) And I'd have to go back on shots.
Going back on shots means taking shots 6 times per day. That means interrupting my daily life 6 times every day to go to the bathroom, draw up insulin, and inject myself. I'm a busy person. Sometimes I miss a shot. Or sometimes I'll skip a meal so I don't have to take a shot. Or sometimes I'll just downright not take it "because I don't wanna."
None of those are healthy. I knew it would take a LOT of work to try and control my diabetes while on shots.
So I call my doctor's office this morning, to explain the situation and confirm my off-pump regimen. She says she will confirm with my doctor and then call me back.
She called me back this afternoon.
Someone JUST donated the EXACT amount of supplies I would need to cover me until my insurance starts paying for my supplies.
If that's not God saying "Hey, I'm looking out for ya, kid."....I don't know what is.
I'm a Christian because my faith gives me hope. Because I believe that I am always taken care of. And I like those feelings.
Once upon a time, there was a girl that got kicked in the face and spent a month and a half recovering from the mother of all corneal abrasions.
As with most tales of victory and triumph, there's always an "almost" win. There's always the two steps back. There's always that moment when you feel like the main character is about to have their moment in the sun. (and then you realize there is still an hour left in the movie so something else is definitely going to go wrong.)
Well, folks. it turns out, there's still an hour left in my movie.
Friday's doctor's appointment (that I talked about here,) was about as bad as I was expecting it to be.
I have a recurring corneal erosion. Which basically means, The top layer of my cornea was violently ripped off and my wound looked just as bad as it did on day 1.
(Ok. I have a flair for the dramatic. But I have to make you all feel sorry for me.)
And also, I have to have laser surgery to permanently fix the problem. So there's that.
Now, the actual wound was not as bad as day 1. My vision was something like 20/60, as opposed to 20/4000. (No, I'm actually not being dramatic there.) And I didn't have to have an eye patch.
They did put a contact lens bandage on my eye, but it came out over the weekend. (during my sister's bachelorette party, at that.)
I slept almost all day Sunday.
I took Monday off and slept the whole day. (I woke up around 3, and did some little chores for Brett, because I love him and he takes good care of me.)
And then it was time for my follow-up appointment.
According to my eye doctor, my eye looked "mucho better!"
Needless to say, I was really super excited to hear that!
I go back on Thursday for another follow-up. And hopefully, after that, there will be no more steps back.
Now, I have to prepare myself for an endocrinologist appointment tomorrow morning that is sure to be awful. Did I mention, that over the past couple of months I've been battling my blood sugar levels? ALL OF THE EYE TRAUMA DRAMA!
