Monday, July 22, 2013

10 Rules for Being Engaged

In the 30-some-odd hours I've been engaged, the number of thoughts that have gone through my head have been astonishing. Who knew there was so much to think about? Even having planned weddings before, it is different when it is happening to you.

I thought about how easily one can get overwhelmed, and how it will take a conscious effort to step back sometimes, and breathe, and focus on the reason for the marriage, and not the dress, the ceremony, or the drunk uncle who might show up at the reception.

So I sat down and made a list of things to remember during this beautiful process. Because that's what it should be: Beautiful. And fun. And sparkly. (Lots of sparkly.)

Feel free to steal this list if you are engaged, irritated, overwhelmed, and tired.

  • 1. Don't put the wedding above your husband-to-be.
  • 2. This is you and your fiance's wedding. Not anyone else's.
  • 3. Just smile and nod with unsolicited advice. And maybe mentally prepare dinner while you listen to the ramblings.
  • 4. Don't mentally plan dinner if someone who has been married for 40 years is giving you advice.
  • 5. Have non-wedding conversations.
  • 6. Include your Mister in the decisions. Don't assume he doesn't care.
  • 7. Take the planning one thing at a time.(I have written down 1-2 things to plan/do each weekend. At least one weekend a month I take "off.")
  • 8. Your bridesmaids are there to HELP you. USE them.
  • 9. Sometimes, the $50 thing you were going to DIY is just worth the 50 bucks. Put the glue gun away. Go to sleep.
  • 10. Thank God for that sweet man you get to spend the rest of your life with.

Like I said, I've only been engaged for 30 hours. I am not stressed by any stretch of the imagination, but when I can feel my eye start to twitch, and a headache coming on, thinking about this list will help keep me in check.

For those of you who have been through this process, what advice do you have?


  1. This is so great. Im a dude, but my piece of advice is an addition to #6... don't assume he doesn't care, but there's a good chance he doesn't--about most things. But there will be a few things he likes. And if it works, don't be afraid to let him make some decisions, even if it makes you slightly cringe. I designed our wedding programs, despite her wanting a classic design. It was awesome, I was happy, and she was happy for that.

    1. Yeah, that's great! I figured, my fiance probably really doesn't care about most things, but he will definitely want to feel included in the planning process!

  2. Yay for sparkly!! Hehe. I'm definitely saving this for when I'm engaged. I'll need all the help I can get! :D

    1. Yes! Sparkly! Haha. SAve it. Use it. And when you get engaged, I'll let you know if it *actually* worked, haha!

  3. Rachel Camille,
    I'm nowhere near being engaged. My relationship -- the only real one in my life,and some wouldn't even count it as real -- is on-again/off-again at best. I have several years of schooling to complete before I would be anything more than an idiot to seriously think about engagement, and that's assuming that by then, a viable fiance is somewhere in sight. Still, I'm making a hard copy of your list, as well as storing it on my computer file that is backed up. It's a great foundation from which to operate.


    1. Alexis-
      You are a SMART girl. Get through school. Attain age. Do. Not. Rush. (I speak from experience!)

      Thanks for the comment. I hope it helps you out one day!!

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