But I'm not going to.
1. Pretty sure I would lose most of my male reader-ship
2. I need to not think about wedding stuff constantly. For all of the health reasons.
So i am going to dedicate ONE day a week for wedding blogging!
Today's topic is the feeling of terror that comes along with agreeing to marry someone. (Didn't see that coming did you?)
I am overwhelmingly excited to marry Brett. Every time I say "Rachel Mayo" my heart flutters and sparkles shoot out of my ears!
So. The terrifying part.
I had this feeling when Brett and I started dating. I thought "Oh crap! I'm a girlfriend now! Can I be everything he needs in a girlfriend? Will I screw up? Will I be good enough? Is there a crazy side of him I don't know about?"
But then I thought "Stop the silliness, you just started dating! You just have to be good enough for however long he decides to put up with you!"
But then he decided he wanted to put up with me forever.
So those same thoughts are intensified by about a bazillion percent.
I'm not a girlfriend anymore. I'm a fiancee now. And I'm going to be a wife. I'm going to be HIS wife. FOREVER.
Am I good enough?
Am I strong enough?
Will I be able to meet all of his needs?
Will I disappoint him?
Those thoughts and feelings scare the living daylights out of me.
So, what do I do with them?
I punch them STRAIGHT IN THE FACE.
Because I look back on the 20 months we spent dating and see how great we are together. How wonderfully we communicate. How much fun we have. How much love there is between us.
And then the feelings of excitement, happiness, and confidence come flooding back in, and totally wipe out the feelings that tell me I'm not good enough.
I am SO good enough. I'm going to rock this wife thing HARD!
LET THE WEDDING CELEBRATION COMMENCE!